STAY CLOSE, DON'T GO

COLLEGE part one. (MAHABA EH!)

2009-09-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

Malapit na magtapos ang first semester and I'm proud to say that

"I SURVIVED!"

As in. Asin.

Bago pa man pumasok sa UST nung first day, inisip ko talaga kung makakatagal ba ko dun. Pakiramdam ko kasi maoout of place lang tsaka laging walang kasama. Alam niyo yun, college jitters. May ganun pang nalalaman eh no. Lungkot ko nalang talaga nung first day, nawawala kasi ako. Nasa corner na ko papunta sa room 215 na room ko talaga dapat. Tas nung tinanaw ko, akala ko room 213 lang. EH KASI NAMAN MUKHANG 213 YUNG 215! Sino ba namang hindi maliligaw? Anyway, baka may sumagot pa sa tanong ko. Let's continue..

Eh kilala ko na si Mico bago pa magpasukan, (nagpost kasi siya sa TeenTalk. HAHA!) tapos alam ko na rin kung ano itsura niya kasi may picture din siya dun. Edi naghihintay ako dun sa labas ng room (yung tapat ng room 211 ata) tapos dumaan si Mico. Tinignan ko talaga eh, takaw tingin. =))

*Tae, oo nga. Naalala ko tuloy. Sorry, Mico.*

Nakita ko siyang pumasok dun sa dulong room na akala ko 213 kaya hindi ko nalang pinansin, baka hindi ko klasmeyt, mahirap na. Tas andami dami nang dumaan, pumasok, tumakbo, naglakad sa buwan, nag sight seeing, at nagtanong. May nakilala pa ko, pero hindi ko na matandaan yung mukha at pangalan niya. I didn't bother.. kasi sa loob loob ko nagdadasal pa ko na sana makita ko na yung room 215. :))

Sabi nga nila, if all else fails... yada yada yada. Edi sinubukan ko na nga tignan yung huling room dun sa dulo ng hallway. Muntik ko na mabatukan sarili ko kasi ang laki laki nung nakasulat sa taas... ROOM 215! (Syempre, ayoko saktan sarili ko, child abuse yon)

HAAAAAAAAAAY LORD. SALAMAT!

Pagpasok ko, ang taray nung prof. Naalala ko pa yung tingin sakin ni Ma'am *insert her name here nalang kasi nakalimutan ko na*. Nanlambot talaga ko. :P Pagtapos makipag areglo, umupo na ko sa pinakaunang upuan na nakita kong bakante. Gusto ko sana sa likod, o kaya sa may bandang gitna kaso no choice. Ganun talaga pag late. As for me, 30 minutes late sa first day. :P

Yung katabi ko sa left side, mukhang tahimik. Yung sa right naman, nakakatakot. Pangalan ko pa ba? =)) Ang awkward nga nung una eh. Kasi hindi ako makagalaw. I mean, hindi ko sila makausap. Napapanis na laway ko. Buti kinausap ako ni SEPH. Ayun tuloy, nahawa ko sa kabaliwan niya. Si CJ kasi nung una akala namin mataray eh. Nagtuturuan pa kami ni Seph kung sino unang kakausap kay CJ nun kasi nakakatakot talaga siya. Hahaha! :D Pero hindi naman, she's cool. Ang kulit lang din eh. :D

Tas ayun na, dami na nakausap. Puro introductions tsaka maliliit na topics na hindi mo alam kung kaya lang tinanong eh para may mapag-usapan. :D Syempre nagpapakiramdaman pa ang lahat. Baka mamaya may biglang manaksak eh. (Ay, ako lang pala yun). Nagkakilala na rin kami nina Bea, Mico, at Sam. (Wow special mention sila :P Kaway naman dyan!)

Bago pa kasi magpasukan, naghahanap na ko ng future blockmates. Si Bea nakilala ko sa... uhh.. pano nga ba Bea? :)) Binigay ata sakin ni Neslene yung ym ni Bea at yung multiply niya. Hindi ko nalang matandaan kung sino yung unang nagsalita samin. =)) It didn't matter nung mga oras na yun, may kakilala na ko eh! Tas si Sam tsaka si Mico, nakita ko yung posts nila sa TeenTalk. Nagdalawang isip pa kami ni Bea kung kakausapin namin si Mico kasi yung username niya pambabae at akala namin may girlfriend siya (syemps, baka kung ano isipin ng gerl pren niya eh) yun pala wala na, bitter lang talaga si Mico. HAHA! Tas si Sam akala ko nung una babae. Ang emo naman kasi ng username niya dun =)). Ayan, naalala ko pa kung pano ko sila nakilala. Desperadong makahanap ng future classmates eh. :>

Mahabang storya pa kung ikkwento ko kung paano ko KAYO nakilala isa-isa. Papatayin ko na yung blog ko kung gagawin ko yun. Kaya magpapasalamat nalang ako. Wala kang masasandalang malamig na balikat sa 1CA4. Bawat araw na kasama mo sila, masaya. Saan man magpunta, sama-sama. Uuyy, cheesy na! Sos, parang kayo di cheesy no. :)) Ayun, madami atang mawawala next year. Sige lang.. ganyanan pala. HAHA! Joke. Suportado kayo no.

HALA! Nagiging cheesy na yung blog ko. Baka dagain. Toinks! Ang korni ko nanaman. Epekto ba talaga nina Chinny at Rosh toh? (Hi guys!) :)) Ang susunod ko kasing blog eh yung mga memorable na banat ng mga prof natin. Although karamihan eh galing kay Sir Rey, sulit pa rin naman yung iba. Di pa ba tayo nasanay kay Sir. :D

Dito nalang muna. Di pa ko kumakain. Mag blog nalang ulit ako bukas o kaya kung kelan sipagin ulit. Edit ko nalang 'to pag may idadagdag ako. COMMENTS~

AY OO NGA NAMAN!

2009-09-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

Kapag ngumiti ka na ng konti,
nag-ayos ng konti, pagkakamalan ka nang malandi.
Hindi pangseryosohang relasyon.

Marinig lang nila na malakas kang mag-salita,
palengkera ka na.
T.O. kaagad sa kanila iyon.

Mahilig silang tumingin sa mga babaeng sexy manamit,
kulang nalang makita na kaluluwa.
Pero kapag babaeng seryosohin at gustong ligawan
dapat disente,
dapat mala-anghel ang mukha,
dapat mukhang inosente.
Tapos kami pa raw ang mahilig mamili?
Parang baliktad yata?

Ok, ayan nanliligaw na si lalake.

Dapat pakipot ka para suyuin ka, para habulin ka pa lalo.
Kapag hindi ka naman nagpakipot.. "easy to get" naman ang tingin sa iyo.
Hindi ka na seseryosohin.
Teka! Sino bang may sabing magpaalila kayo,
di naman namin hawak ang buhay niyo.

Natural lang na magtiis kayo, may gusto kayo sa amin eh.
Kapag nakuha niyo na iyon wala na lahat ng mga paghihirap niyo,
babaliktad na ang sitwasyon, kami naman ang mamromroblema.
Para lang kayong may gustong bilhin na bagay.
Upang mabili ito kailangan munang magsakripisyo, magtipid, magtiis.
Pag nabili na at mapagsawaan wala na, balewala na. Diyan ka na sa tabi-tabi.

"Tawagan nalang kita pag trip ko o kaya'y pag may gusto akong ipagawa sa iyo"

Ano pa ba? E di sinagot mo na diba. Utang na loob pa natin yun.
Dahil naghirap daw sila sa panliligaw dapat masuklian natin iyon ng higit pa.
Sa umpisa kailangan malambing ka, maayos at laging magsisilbi sa kanya.
Ayaw daw nilang humawak ng relasyon, pero kapag ikaw naman ang nagmando,
Aba! Masasakal naman.

Sasabihin pa sa iyo:
"Demanding ka."
HAHA :))

Meron ka pang maririnig na:
"I think we need space.",

..........at kung anu-ano pang ek-ek.

Sino rin may sabing di dapat kami magpakabait,
maging devoted at faithful?

Kapag kami ang sumaway niyang mga iyan, iba na ang tingin sa amin.
Malandi na kami, haliparot, pakawala, makikay at kung anu-ano pang mga bansag ang itatawag sa amin.

Kapag kayo gumawa noon, ok lang.
Lalake kayo eh, macho kayo pag ginawa niyo yon.
Kaya kami, walang magawa. Magpapakaburo at magpapakamadre nalang.

Kapag nagloko na kayo ano pa bang magagawa namin?
Eh di iiyak nalang. Wala namang ibang magagawa eh.

Tungkol naman sa tinatawag niyong pagdedemand namin.

Hindi kami nagdedemand! Karapatan lang namin iyon.
Karapatan namin na lambingin niyo kami, icheck at ipakita sa amin na mahal niyo kami.
Ha. Ha. Ha. :))

Hindi rin ibig sabihin na mas sincere kayo sa amin.

Seryoso rin naman kami ah. At ang maturity wala yan sa edad.
Mas maaga nga kaming magmature sa inyo.
Ang isang 19 year old na lalake eh, isip 15 pa yun. It follows iyan sa lahat ng age group.
Mas mataas pa kung minsan ang pagbawas ng level of maturity.
Kayo na ang mag-math!

Pati yung pag-iyak namin pinupuntirya niyo!

Kesyo drama daw. Diba kapag umiyak ka nagbuhos ka ng emosyon diyan.
Ano tingin niyo sa amin mga artista?!

Alam niyo iyon? Yun bang kulang nalang ay lumuha ka na ng dugo,
pero hindi ka pa rin papansinin.
Sasabihan ka pang tigilan na ang pagdradrama.
Hindi nila kami maiintindihan kapag nagseselos kami.

Bakit naman kami magseselos kung wala kaming nakikita?
Mas iba kaming magmahal. Mas masarap..

Kapag natapos na ang lambingan,
eh di siyempre iwanan blues na.
Kami pa raw ang nagsawa, kami pa raw ang nagtritrip lang.
Sino ba ang lumalayas kapag may nakita nang bago,
sino ba ang mayabang,
sino ba ang nagmamalaki?
Kami ba? Kami ang walang choice...

Kasi ang babae pag sinabing "break na tayo.."
Lambingin lang iyan ng konti balikan blues na iyan.
Kapag ang lalake ang umayaw, pucha, bahala ka diyan.
Kahit mag-tambling ka pa sa harap niya. Wa-epek.
Umiyak ka ng bato.Wa-epek.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tapos sila pa raw ang kawawa?

Post-break up.

Mahal pa ng babae si lalaki.
Sasamantalahin ni lalaki. Magpapagawa ng kung anu-ano.
Naaalala ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo.

Kapag pumangit ka after the break up, magpapasalamat sila na iniwan ka nila.
Kapag gumanda ka naman, ipagkakalat nila sa buong sangkatauhan na naging girlfriend ka niya.
Sala sa init sala sa lamig talaga.

Ano ba namang buhay to?
Ang hirap ding maging babae ano. Kala nila laging sila nalang.
Lagi rin kaming naiiwan sa ere.
Dalawa ang parte ng kwento,
isa sa akin, isa sa iyo. Wag mong paikutin sa mundo mo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grabbed and edited from http://bessietut.multiply.com/ (Beaaa)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natuwa naman ako dito masyado. Walang intensyong magpatama sa iba, nakakatuwa lang kasi na may nakakapansin din pala. :)) Masyadong tagalog noh? HAHA! Nakakatuwa talaga. :D

Ayun, nakakaguilty sumakay sa mga jeep/bus/tricycle/fx na nagbubuga ng usok na mas maitim pa sa buhok ko. Parang nung seminar lang tungkol sa renewable energy. Lahat tayo hindi pabor sa mga jeep na patuloy na nagbubuga ng maiitim na usok PERO wala namang umaaksyon para masolyusonan yung problema. May nagtext ba sa mga kinauukulan? Madaming programa dyan, kesyo magtext ng sumbong sa ganitong number, kesyo itawag, kesyo palaman sa tinapay. Pero ilan nga lang ba sa atin ang talagang kumikilos?

AYUN.. SHARE KO LANG. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bukas pupunta kami sa Bilibid.. yung medium lang naman. Hindi large. Parang gulp lang eh noh. :)) Tapos may activities kami na gagawin, bonding with the inmates ng prison, tsaka siguro kung may pera at hindi ramdam ang krisis, mamimili ng mga binebenta dun. :D :D Wala pa nga akong nakahandang questions na itatanong sa makaka-pair kong inmate eh. Gusto ko sanang maenjoy yung experience kaso nahihiya naman ako. (WOW, MAY GANUN AKO? SAN BANDA? HAHA!)

Tas ayun, bigla akong tinamad magblog kasi iCarly na! :D :D

POEM lang. Give it a title. (:

2009-09-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Bibilisan ko na 'toh.
Nagugutom na ko eh. >:)
May bagong poem nanaman ako, and as usual, wala nanamang title.
Comments are appreciated. Pati yung mga "napadaan lang po, comment back!" na mga hirit, okay lang. HAHAHA.

So the poem goes like this:

You left me hoping
for a tomorrow that will never come.
I was left holding
onto a love that was already gone.
Promises really don't last forever,
Love letters never do too..
You only mean it when you're together,
then it vanishes when you're through.
Love is life's greatest trick.
It's an illusion of the eye.
You can lose it in a wink,
and regret it 'til you die.
Change is real,
Time is fleeting.
When moments become memories,
are the still worth believing?
Is it destiny or is it fate,
you could never tell.
Happily ever after is late,
Will your story ever end well?

---

O diba, ang bilis lang ng blog ko.
Gutom na talaga ko pero wala namang makain dito.
HAHAHA~
Manonood nalang nga ako ng 17 Again. :D
Salamat sa pagbasa.
Magcomment ka!

You Define the Ending. :) [Critics, please.]

2009-08-14T04:48:00.000-07:00

Okay class, English tayo.
>:)

I need cute and keen critics.
I need...
I need.... myself.
*malakas na hangin epek*
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ano daw?! =)))))))

Dahil sobrang depressed at wala sa sarili, sumulat nanaman ako ng isang pointless story. 3 tao palang naman ang nakakabasa nito, namely Julia slash Octopus, Mico slash Pots, at si Claire slash Cookies. Ayoko na banggitin ang comment nila, nakakaiyak e. :))

Gusto ko sana ilagay dito.. kaso... wala lang. Tinatamad ako. Pero ayoko namang mabulok lang siya at eventually ay i-delete ko rin, kaya ilalagay ko nalang nga. Pampahaba lang ng paragraph eh no. :D

Sana maenjoy niyo pagtawanan. Hehe. I'm open for criticisms, violent reactions, at kung anu-ano pang pwede niyong ipukol sakin. ;)

----------------------~~----------------------

"Here, take mine."

Her eyes were teary from the movie we watched and she couldn't find her handkerchief. She looks so cute when she cries, laughs, and talks. I can't help but fall for her even more. I kissed her gently on the cheeks and wiped her tears away.

She smiled.

"Thanks. I think I want to watch it again."
"We'll watch it as long as you want to."

28 times. That's how many times we've seen that movie and I'd always see her crying at the end. I'd laugh at her for being such a crybaby but then she'd get mad which made me laugh even more. She'd pinch my cheek and cross her arms as I press the play button on the remote to watch the same movie again.

"You never get tired of this, eh?"
"No. It's my favorite. The boy dies before he could admit his feelings to the girl he loves and that's such a sad thing. The girl feels the same way though but won't admit it too.."
"They should've been true to themselves, you know."
"I know.. but that's love. You could never really understand yourself when you're in love."

I laughed. She looked at me, puzzled with my laughter.

"I swear, best. I won't be like them. If ever I love someone, I'd tell them right away."
"Really? Then maybe if the boy admitted his feelings, it wouldn't be much of a sad ending, right?"
"Uh-huh. You better do the same thing. Tell the persons you love what you really feel.. because you never know if it's too late."

Then she'd turn her eyes to the television and rest her head on my shoulder. We're best friends. No more, no less. We've known each other ever since they moved to our village when I was 4. But as time passed by and as our friendship grew, I woke up one morning realizing that I had fallen for my sweet best friend. She's all I ever dreamed of in a girl, simple and spontaneous. We know each other from head to toe and know each other's secrets.

But then again, we're just best friends.

It was almost the near the ending when she turned to me again, all teary eyed and stuff.

"What? You need a hug?"
"Then tell me, have you ever been in love?"

I stared at her. Why would she ask a question like that?

"I know it's such a stupid question, best. But I just can't get it off of my mind..."

What will I say? That I love her? No.. I can't, we're best friends...

"C'mon, you know me. Do I really need to answer?"

With that, she turned the tv off and just sat on the couch. It was midday and our parents are outside preparing the picnic table. Her mom invited us over for lunch because there was this special announcement she had to make.

"I know you. And it seems you haven't loved anyone else yet.."
"But..."
"But you just said that you'd tell her right away. So.. I'll just wait for that day.."
"Which day?"
"When you tell someone you love her."
"But.."

There was a moment of silence between us. It was hard to swallow and I really can't finish my sentence knowing that I couldn't muster the guts to tell her how I feel. I felt so weak, just like the guy in the movie we saw. Then I remembered how I said I wouldn't be like him.. I promised. It took me some time to have the courage to say what she needs to hear, it was so quiet that I could hear myself think of words to tell her.

"I... I love you. You're the one I love, Kylie..ever since we became best friends."

There was no response.

"Best.. I'm sorry. I know we're best friends and I didn't mean to but..."

I intended to cut my sentence short in hope that she'll say something already. Still no reply. When I checked her, she was sleeping. Maybe she got tired of watching the movie and accidentally dozed off, I thought.

She didn't hear me. She didn't see how big of a coward I am for not telling her sooner. I was saved from the embarassment and the awkwardness, I was relieved. It was already time for the picnic to start but she was still asleep. I went to her room to check on her but what I saw scared the hell out of me...

As I opened the door and peeped into her room, I saw her lying lifeless on the floor.

Silence.

Heart beat.

"MOM!"

---------------

It's dawn, the most beautiful and peaceful time of the day. I heard Kylie's mom talking with the doctor last night but I couldn't fully understand what they were talking about. I kept hearing something about this disease which the doctor said Kylie has. Her mom returned with eyes full of tears and they looked just the same as Kylie's-only with more sadness. She left me in charge of her daughter as she went home and packed some of Kylie's stuff for their stay in the hospital. I didn't even had the time to ask her what happened.

I opened the windows allowing more light to come in. The air was peaceful, quiet, and serene.

"Best, look, it's you're favorite time of the day."

She wouldn't look. She didn't listen. She's just laying there. Sleeping. I took her hand and held it to my cheek. I felt her warmth as though she wanted me to feel it. She was always warm, bubbly, and charming ever since the day we met. Whenever she's sad, she'd go to our house and play with me till dusk and we'd call her mom to fetch her. Then she'd give me candy before they leave and I'd always keep it in one of the jars I had in my room. Memories...

"Kevin, wake up. We need to transfer to another room."

Kylie's mom attended to her things as I got up from the chair near the bed. I saw a couple of nurses take Kylie to another room as I helped her mom with the bags.

"Auntie, what's with Kylie?"

I call her Auntie. When I was young, mom wouldn't let me call Kylie's mom with her real name which was Anita. She said it was impolite and that Kylie would be angry with me. I grew up calling her Auntie and she liked me for that.

She looked at me, undecided whether to tell the truth or just shrug me off.

"It's just too early to tell, Kevin. Please be patient with your best friend."

Too early? Thoughts about the movie Kylie and I saw flashed in my mind. It's never too early nor too late to tell the truth.. especially in times like this.

We got settled in a better room which I bet was so expensive. Auntie placed the bags in a large cabinet and sat in one of the chairs. Mom would take care of their house during their stay here. I got her a cup of coffee and sat with her as she sipped and calmed herself down.

"Auntie.. what's with Kylie?"

She looked at me again. She wasn't mad because I repeated my question, I could tell because her shoulders leaned back as she took another sip. After heaving a sigh, she put the cup down and held my hands.

Three drops of tears fell on them. I looked up at her.

"My boy, I know Kylie would've want you to know sooner, but she was too scared. From the moment we knew about her sickness, she wanted to tell you and your mom right away..."

She was trembling. My heart was beating so fast I wasn't sure what I was really feeling. Auntie was never like this, she was always strong and happy and she'd always reprimand us to smile and love life.

The next thing she said killed half of my being.

"Kylie has cancer. Colon cancer to be exact. The doctor said she would still be able to fight it but when we went back for her check-up, they said she deteriorated rapidly..."

Three more drops of tears.

"Kylie wanted you to know but she was scared of losing you. You were her only real friend, you know.. and you were the only one she really cared about and loved."

I was her only real friend.
I was the only one she loved.

"..but the cancer was already at its final stage and Kylie was always in pain. That was the reason why she was absent from school the last few weeks. She'd refuse to go to your house because she was afraid you'll notice."

"But why the picnic?" My eyes swelled with tears.

Auntie placed her hand in my cheeks and hugged me. She was still sobbing but I could understand what she said.

"She finally decided to tell you and asked me to prepare a picnic for our families. Ever since the day we found out she was sick, I couldn't say no to her... time was fleeting and I didn't dare to waste it."

"But why the movie?"

"It was the movie both of you saw the first time you met. Don't you remember?"

Then the memory of our first meeting came flashing back. Mom took me to watch a movie with her that day and as she bought tickets, my cap was blown by the wind towards a lady talking to her daughter. Kylie picked up my hat and gave it to her mom. I was too afraid to get it so I told my mom and we went to talk to them. It turned out that we were actually neighbors and that they were new to our town. We watched the movie together, mom and Auntie, Kylie and me, seated in a row. Kylie whispered to me that it was her favorite movie of all time and I laughed at her because she cried at the end. That was our first meeting...

It was the same movie.
The same Kylie who would always cry at the end.

But now, she's asleep. No one knows if she'll still wake up, not even the doctors. They told us that there was little hope and that they'd only give her a month or so.

Dawn. Two weeks passed by and she's still asleep. Auntie went home to take care of the house because mom needed to attend a seminar abroad. I was left in charge. It was silent, just like the other dawns that passed by. I'd stay awake all night praying to God to save her from this pain. I'd stay by her side reading all the fairytales she told me she liked.

Even though she was in this kind of state, I loved her even more. I saw how strong my best friend was and decided that I should also be strong for her.

Every night I'd whisper to her the words I've been longing to say..

I don't need a response. I don't need an answer.

All I want is for her to know how much she means to me...

..that's she's everything I cared about. She's the only one I've loved.

"Auntie, don't do this. Kylie is still alive."

Tears rushed down my cheeks as I tried to pull the pen away from Auntie's hand. The doctor came in earlier to tell us that we already need to decide. It's been a month and a half since the day we rushed her here. Since that day, she didn't wake up nor showed any signs of movement. She's.....

"I want her to rest, Kevin. She needs to rest!"

She dropped the pen, trembling because of the cold weather outside. It's the 25th of December tomorrow, mom would come over later to celebrate Christmas with us. I was always with Auntie since their stay at the hospital and mom understood my situation. She would occasionally come over and comfort Auntie while I catch up on sleep.

"We can't make the decision by ourselves, Anita. We need guidance from above."

Mom tried to talk some sense into Auntie. They attended mass everyday while I took care of Kylie. One day, as I was drifting off to sleep, I held her hand just to make sure she's still with me when I wake up. It was easy to fall asleep when I hold her hand, it was as if she was helping me sleep easily.

"Kevin..."

I heard her. She's here. But... where am I?

"Kevin, can you hear me?"

"Yes!" I cried out. My heart jumped with joy when I heard her voice. It was music to my ears. Long have I yearned to hear her voice again, just one more time.

"Kevin, please listen to me. I won't be here for long.."

She sounded sad. I tried to follow her voice hoping to find her. It was only her voice, her sweet yet sad voice. I closed my eyes and imagined her. I want to see her, feel her, and see that she's fine.

"Tell my mom that I'm happy wherever she's happy. I know she's having a hard time coping with the situation and that she needs to let me go soon or else she'll be really depressed.. I don't like mom to be depressed... I want to see her happy. I want to see all of you happy and not worrying about me."

"But Kylie..."

"I love you."

I froze. Those words.. she.. said...

"I love you, best. I know you already know that and I'm happy that you're doing great..."

I struggled to talk but words escaped me. She's saying she loves me but she's also saying good bye? No, she can't leave. Not now..

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? You were afraid to lose me? Why would you think that?"

Silence embraced us. Then I heard her crying softly trying not to make me hear her. I tried to comfort her but I can't speak. I felt so guilty..

"Remember how you promised me that you'll tell the person you love

how you feel for her right away? You swore you'll never be like the guy in the movie.."

"I guess I broke my promise.. I'm..."

"Don't be sorry.. I broke my promise too."

"What?"

She laughed. She always had this wonderful laughter which made me smile whenever I hear it.

"The night before I invited you over for the picnic, I promised myself that I would admit how much I love you. But then... when I asked you about the one you love, I hoped you'd tell me it was me.. I.. I lost the courage to tell you. You said I knew, but I really didn't. I'm sorry.."

She failed to keep her cool and started to cry like a little kid. She'd always try to keep her cool until she explodes and I'd automatically laugh at her.

"Why..why are you laughing? Was I too pathetic?"

"Isn't it ironic?"

"What's ironic?"

"That we've become like the lovers in the movie, the ones we promised we won't be. But the difference is, we're able to talk to each other now--"

A large bell rang, something like that of the Big Ben.

"I have to go, best. God was so kind to give me enough time to tell you everything. Please.. tell my mom to cut the line. I know she has suffered enough, all of you have. I'm very grateful to have known someone like you, Kevin..."

Tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't count the times I've cried because of her. I don't want to hear what she's saying because I know my heart can't take the pain of good bye. It was all too fast.. the last thing I could remember was our last parting words...

We said those three simple words at the same time. Both of us knew it would be the last time we'll see each other and it would take a lifetime for us to be together again. Then I woke up. Mom and Auntie were beside me waiting for me to wake up. I gave Auntie the pen, she signed, and everything else followed. There was no burial because she wanted to be cremated. Auntie gave me a locket containing some of Kylie's remains and I promised to cherish it until the day I die.

Unlike the boy and the girl in the movie, we were able to say good bye without regret nor pain in our hearts. There was nothing to feel guilty about. Since the day she left us, every time I'd look up to heaven, I could hear her laughter and see her sweet smile..

Then I would always feel that that I am and never will be alone. I have someone up there who cares for and loves me all the way. That's more than what I could ever hope for and I couldn't ask for more.

----------------------~~----------------------

Ayos ba? Kasi naman eh. Epekto ng antok, depression, guilt at gutom.

After the painstaking prelims in CWG and Philosophy, I was in desperated need for a breather. I was unusually not my self that day and I hated every moment of it. I could've done better and the guilt is killing me. *Okaaay, wag na alalahanin. Nababatrip lang ako* Let's just say that a lot of things have happened this past week which abruptly bottled up inside me. Sad thing is, it didn't pick a good time to burst. :| *Sabing wag nang alalahanin e*

Anyway, thanks for reading. Alam ko mediocre lang to'. Pero blog ko toh, wala kayo magagawa. Bwahaha. >:) Ang ingay sa labas ngayon, fiesta kasi samin e. Puro contests at walang sawang palakpakan. Ang masaya dyan, yung spotlight na kinabit nila sa poste sa labas ng bahay namin, nakatutok sa bintana at nakatutok sa kama ko. Hanep diba? =))

Share lang*
Mag uupload ako ng pics bukas. Gagawin ko na rin yung sa English namin which means, nosebleed nanaman. G'niiiight. :D

PAPARAPAPA :)

2009-07-29T01:29:00.000-07:00

Ang sipag kong magblog.
Kahit wala namang point ang mga sinasabe ko.
Diba?
WAHAHAHAHA.

Walang magawa nung isang gabi kaya lumabas nanaman ang pagka-emo ni Anna. Di tungkol sakin yan, asa naman kayong emo ako. Sa saya kong to? AS IF. :))))) Nais ko lang ibahin ang style ng pagbblog ko. Kung dati, malabo ako magkwento, ngayon, mas malabo na.

Tas alam niyo ba, hindi ko gets kung bakit NEW AND IMPROVED ang mga bagay na tinitinda sa mga tindahan. NEW na nga, IMPROVED PA. Ang labo. :| Improved nga eh, hindi na bago yun. MAS EFFICIENT lang. Diba? O ako lang talaga yung malabo ang pag-iisip? Kung sino man ang makakapag explain sakin niyan, pagpapalain ng Panginoon. :D

EH FEELING KO POET AKO EH. Minsan na nga lang ako gumawa ng ganito, bulok pa no?
Nga pala, natutuwa ako kay Peter Pan. :D ang galing kasi ng character niya eh. Pero dahil off topic si Peter Pan, dun ko nalang siya isisingit sa susunod kong blog. :)

Naalala ko nanaman yung movie na Hercules sa Disney Channel. Narinig niyo na ba yung kanta ni Meg? Yung may..

"If there's a price for rotten judgment
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that"

Wala lang, natutuwa lang ako. Kasi paulit ulit lang nila pinapalabas yung Hercules. :P Ayaw magsawa nung mga loko. Wala bang SCHOOL OF LIFE dyan? Sana yun na sunod na ipalabas nila. :D Mas maganda yun. Anways.. off topic nanaman tayo.

Wala pa 'tong title. Pero iisip ako..

ALAM KO NA!

KUMUKUTIKUTITAP.
*bow*

She was heart broken and everyone could tell.
But she kept it inside, she wanted to yell.
The tears, the lies, it all came crashing down,
Her beautiful smile turned into a frown.

Swearing never to fall again, she gave up on love,
closed her heart, she wished to be numb.
She'll die bitter, everyone guessed,
No one could save her, she loves her distress.

Yet a gentle knock on her heart was all it took.
He came like lightning and read her like an open book.
Everyday she'd pray for him to go away,
But he promised to love her and forever stay.

Little by little, she started to trust.
Her heart was awakened, it didn't turn to rust.
Feeling true love, once again she's free,
and now you know a little more about me.

Ang bulok ko talaga mag English. Rhyme na nga lang, ang simple pa ng mga ginamit ko. :)) Sadyang mahina lang akong umisip ng mga ganung bagay.. ganun talaga pag nahuhumaling kay Peter Pan. :D I would just like to repeat na hindi related sakin yang poem (kung poem na ang tawag niyo dyan).

Sabi nga ni Hades sa Hercules na movie sa Disney Channel:

"My favorite part of the game.. sudden death."

Hanapin niyo nalang yung connection ah?
HAHAHA. Kakaen na ko. Bahala na kayo. :D
Salamat sa pagbasa, magcomment ka na. Sayang ang pagbisita.
~Leave a mark everywhere you go, ika nga ni Anna.~

PANAGINIP blaaaaah.

2009-07-16T05:08:00.000-07:00

Bago ako matulog, gusto ko lang i-share ang panaginip ko kaninang umaga.
Dapat kasi kaning umaga ko pa toh nablog, kaso may LQ ang internet at laptop sa bahay kaya no choice ako. :D

Umulan pa kaninang umaga! Pahirapan tuloy pumasok sa UST. Dapat talaga nagdala ako ng portable bangka at sagwan. Tapos lahat ng makikiboat ride, sisingilin ko ng mahal. Bwahaha.

O game, para makatulog na ko at makapag review sa quiz bukas sa Eco. :|
MATH yun, pare. M A T H.

Nasa panaginip ko sina...
Dominic Ochoa - kilala niyo siya bilang isang pari sa May Bukas Pa
Mico at Lean - kaklase ko ngayon sa UST
Pauch - taga OLSHS
Da Who - isa pang taga OLSHS na hindi ko matandaan kung sino
Nikka at Amores - kaklase ko dati sa OLSHS
*ang labo ng casting sa panaginip ko. :))*

Kung nagmamadali ka pero gusto mong malaman ang laman ng panaginip ko, eto short version: Naligaw ako papuntang Tayuman dahil may higanteng UST sa daan. Pumasok ako sa 7/11 na ang pangalan ay Reth at umattend ako sa kasal ng di ko naman kaanu-ano.

Okay na? O tsupi.

Para sa mga nagmamahal sakin at gustong basahin nang buo ang kalokohan ko..

Edi ganito daw yung nangyari:
Naglalakad ako pauwi galing UST at napadaan ako sa isang malaking field. May tinatayong airport sa field na yun.. AIRPORT NG UST. :)) Odiba?! Wahaha. Kasi may nakalagay "University of Sto. Tomas Airlines" dun sa malaking electronic billboard. Ano ba tawag dun sa mga ganung billboard, yung parang sa mga bar na umiilaw pa kasi may neon lights. Basta ganun!

Tapos.. edi naglakad ako. Nakita ko nga yung airport ng UST na ginagawa palang. Biglang dumating si Mico at tinanong kung saan ako pupunta. Sabi ko uuwi na ko at siya naman sa Mercury Drug daw. :D Bigla ulit may lumapit na mga tao tapos nag kodakan sila dun sa airport. WAHAHA. (talagang kinarir yung erport noh) tapos edi nakipiktyur naman ako. Nagdisappear na si Mico nung time na toh eh. Biglang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan. Buti nalang at may payong akong dala. Odiba, hanggang panaginip, girl scout ako. :))

*Nagising na ko. Pero dahil maaga pa naman at umuulan, natulog ulit ako.*

Lakad. Lakad. Lakad.
Napadpad ako sa isang HOTEL.
Meron daw kasalan at abay ako. Di ko man lang kilala yung ikakasal. Wahaha. Feeling close eh, baket ba. :P Edi nag ayos na ko ng pang-abay tapos niyaya ako ni Pauch na pumunta sa seben eleben dun sa ilalim ng hotel. Oo, may seben eleben sa ilalim ng hotel. WAHAHA.

Pagbaba namin dun, nakita ko si Dominic Ochoa na may kausap na isa pang artistang hindi naman sikat kaya hindi ko na pinansin kung sino. Ansama eh no. ;) Nakita ako ni Doms (wow, feeling close kay Dominic Ochoa) na nakatingin sa kanya..

Bigla ba naman akong inirapan!

Sabi niya dun sa kasama niya pasok na daw sila ng seben eleben dahil may nakatingin sa kanila. THE NERVE. :)) Edi ba ang seben eleben may logo na 7/11.. yung nakalagay sa panaginip ko, RETH ang pangalan ng seben eleben. Pero alam kong seben eleben siya. Labo no? =))

*Nagising nanaman ako. Dahil umuulan pa rin, tulog ulit*

Nagshift yung eksena. Nakasakay ako sa owner na bukas yung likod tapos kasama ko daw si Amores. Tinatanong ko siya kung paano bumalik ng Tayuman. :)) Sabi niya pagtigil ng owner, baba na raw ako. Dumiretso na ko sa terminal ng jeep para sumakay ng papuntang Tayuman. Pero teka..

ANONG KINALAMAN NG TAYUMAAAAN?!

Edi nasa terminal na ko.. linapitan ako ni Da Who para magtanong kung saan ako pupunta. Tinuro niya kung saang jeep ako sasakay tapos bigla ba naman siyang nagdisappear. Bastusan no? WAHAHA. Edi sumakay na ko ng jeep pauwi at nakauwi naman ng maayos.

Ano na kamo ang nangyari sa kasal?
Hmmm...
They lived happily ever after.

Eh dun sa UST airport?
Ang laki nung eroplanong nakita ko sa panaginip ko.
May future ito.
:))

Kay Dominic Ochoa?
Naging stalker nga ako dun sa seben eleben eh. Kasi diba inirapan ako, sinundan ko siya paikot sa seben eleben slash reth. Natakot ata, biglang nag disappear.

Kanino pa ba..
Ay oo! Si Nikka! Anong kinalaman ni Nikka sa panaginip ko?
EH.. hindi ko matandaan.
Yun lang yung part na nakalimutan ko.
Basta alam kong nandun siya.
:D

THE END!
Whew. Hindi naman kasi ako mahilig matulog. Hinding hindi.
Ang lamig pa naman kaninang umaga dahil sa ulan, sarap tuloy matulog.
Di pa ko nakasama sa UAAP kanina, ininggit pa ko ni Julia.
HENIWEYS.. nakakabanas yung quiz sa Theo kanina. Madali lang siya pero ang dami lang kasing terms and conditions. Nyaks. Wahaha. Terms and definitions pala yun. :)

At dahil inaantok na ko at wala ka namang pakelam kung anong sinulat ko ngayong gabi, tutulog na ko.
Good night! Salamat sa pagbasa. Mag-iwan ka nalang ng piso sa comment box.

Oo, di ko kilala yung batang nasa picture dun sa taas.
Trip ko lang siya ilagay. :)
Cute naman daw sabi nung lola niya eh. :P

Kanina pa inaantok,
Anna.

MCDO bow

2009-07-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I made this for my COOKIES :)
Masyado na kasi siyang obsessed kay ano..
Natatawa ko kasi Tagalog yung ginamit ko..
Pers time ko gumawa ng Tagalog poem.

(ehem..)

Si MCDO ay sikat.
Si MCDO ay masaya.
Si MCDO ay walang katulad, naiiba siya.

Ginusto kong kaibiganin, mapalapit at suriin.
Kung bakit ganoon na lamang ang epekto niya sa akin.
Puro ngiti at hindi nagagalit, ewan ko ba kung sinong hindi maaakit..
sa mukha niyang walang kahit anong maskarang nakatakip.

Pero siya'y biglang nagalit at uminit ang kanyang ulo..
Hindi raw siya nakikipagkaibigan sa mga katulad ko.
Ngunit wala namang mawawala kaya hindi ako sumuko.
Ginusto ko siyang makilala ng buong-buo.

At ngayon ako'y iniwan.
Nag-iisa pero hindi nagdaramdam.
Ang babaeng bawat araw kong pinagmasdan,
ngayo'y tuluyan nang lilisan.

Ayokong bumitaw ngunit kinailangan niyang umalis.
Alam ko namang hindi siya magpapapigil.
Pinangako niya sa aking makakahanap ako ng iba,
hindi siguro niya naisip na nakita ko na at hindi naman ako maghahanap pa.

*bow*

O ano say niyo?
Ang gulo noh?
WAHAHA.